The June divas marathon that never was…. Almost

The June divas marathon that never was…. Almost

“How was the diva’s?,” Reena asked.

It was exactly seven-days after the fact, on this Friday evening of July 1.  It was even already a different month from that scheduled run of June 24.

This July 1 was a busy Friday.  The day started with a final meeting with the visiting staff from our Ethiopian campus.  The visitor was to then have a free time after lunch to run some errands in readiness for the next day’s departure.  A visit to Maasai market at Prestige Ngong road was therefore scheduled for two so that she could be back by four-thirty for a five o’clock event.

Her company to Prestige called me at three-thirty, “Imagine it is now that I have cleared with school and is free to take Rachel for the shopping.”

“Are you even listening to yourself?,” I asked, not sure if Nanna was serious.  I have known her to be time unconscious, but this was a stretch by all definitions, “How will you make it back by five?”

“Si you just know me,” she LOLed, “Just arrange for Rachel to pick me at Kawangware stage”

I would soon try to trace Rachel on WhatsApp, since she did not have a Kenyan number.  The first call went unanswered and so I left a message that she should urgently get in touch so that she can pick a taxi cab to Ngong road.  Being a true sister to Nanna, with time not of much concern, I got a final knock on my door at about four, “Sorry misa president. Me get delay Finance and not watch Whatsapp… eh… Me not see call.  Maybe now I go taxi?”

“You are sure you wanna do this?  I mean go shopping and be back in an hour?”

“Yes, me shop eh…, maybe jus ten minutes? And then back with Nanna?”

I let her go and meet Nana at the designated location at Kawangware, having provided the driver with Nanna’s phone contact and also providing Rachel with my backup phone that has the Telkom line.

Soon it was five and I made a call to the two gals.  Nanna assured me that they were through and they were starting to travel back.

“When can we expect you gals?  At midnight?”

Nana laughed and let it resonate for a minute or so, “No! We are done”

“I know you Nanna, you have hardly even started your shopping.  I can hear market sounds in the background”

“No, I cannot lie.  We are through and starting our journey back,” she reassured.

I knew better than that.  That duo had not even started their moving around the market and my estimation was that they would be back at seven.

And I was right, Rachel made it back just before seven and it was around seven that the party of six, in two vehicles, made its way on Naivasha road to pick Nanna, then subsequently to Kilimani.  The cab with the guys arrived first, probably five minutes before us.  We thought that they would be settled in, but was surprised to still see the trio just standing outside the establishment.

“Why are you just standing outside on this cold evening?,” I greeted them.

“They say we they do not know us.  There is no reservation!”

I was taken aback.  Here I am with a team of three guys and three ladies and we are being stopped dead on our track.  How do you even formulate a plan B? 

“But I booked!?”

I moved into the building and confronted the lady that I found at the reception desk, just to the left of the single door entrance.

“Did you not get this?,” I pointed to the email message displayed on my phone.

She examined it.

“Ah, I see,” she saw, “Let me contact Fiona who booked.”

We remained blocking the entry with our party of seven.  The restaurant was already full.  There was hardly a table.  In a minute we were allowed in and pointed to a crowded outdoor location with only a small two-seater table available.  The workers soon pulled another one table and did a setup at the dead centre of the walkway of the extension part of the restaurant.  It was a cold part of the room and we soon complained that we could not survive that place, asking to be moved to any other place instead.

Another shuffle of chairs and tables would soon see us being setup at the main restaurant just two table rows after the main entrance.  This was better, though the two tables on our setup were not of the same size and were generally small for the seven of us, but who cares?  We are in a meating!  Sorry, meat inn.

“Welcome to Fogo Gaucho, do you know what to do?,” someone clad in a funny looking trouser and high boots approached the table and asked the team, roving his eyes around the many pairs of eyes.  The three ladies were set on one side of the length of the table, to my right.  Two guys sat opposite them.  The remaining two sat on the shorter edges of the rectangular setup.

“Of course, we do,” I volunteered, as I updated the only visitor in the group.

“Rachel, now you need to turn this card green,” I demoed, “Then we shall go and pick some salads over there,” I pointed towards their backs.

“Thereafter, you shall pick on the assorted roasts that shall be passing by using these forceps”

She had just heard of the routine before, but had never experienced it.  The rubber was now meating the road, sorry, meeting the road.

“Are you ready?”

“Sure, we go salad?  Maybe?,” she confirmed, unsure.

We got the salads and settled.  The cuts soon followed in quick succession.  I even saw a few circular cards turned red on the table, hardly fifteen minutes into the feast.  It was now all good.  

Our initial lateness and reservation woes were now forgotten, but…..

“Happy birthday dear Carolineeeee?”

“Happy birthday dear Carolineeee!,” some people answered.

What is going on!  We looked around to get accustomed to the singing.

“Happy birthday dear Carolineeee?,” one of those staffers with funny trousers and high boots could be observed coming from the salad corner towards the table just next to us, on my right, towards the backs of the ladies.  They turned to look around as to what was going on.

“Happy birthday dear Carolineeee!,” the members in that affected table responded, even as the staffers led by a soloist carrying a cake moved to that table.

“Happy birthday dear Carolineee?,” he belted out loudly, now just about five metres from where we were.

“Happy birthday dear Carolineee!,” we all sang back, unconsciously, morsels of meats in our mouths.

“Kata keki siyo ugaliiiiii!”

“Kata keki siyo ugaliiiiii!,” we shouted back, most people, at least in the main restaurant, clapping or tapping along their cutlery.

Rachel was completely amazed.  She would keep humming this song until she travelled back the next day.

Soon the song was forgotten, and Caroline and her crew could be observed digging into the cake, amidst unending supply of roast meat cuts being passed around by those high-booted men.

It was not long before we sang many more other birthday songs to many other people in that establishment, including to the party on the very next table to my left, directly infront of the ladies.  We just missed that particular cake by a whisker since we really sang our hearts out to ‘dear Kimani’ but there was no cake for us on this meaty day.

Our taxis were waiting to take us back home at nine as per the booking, but that is when we were deep into the eating.  Kimani’s birthday song had not even started by nine when the taxi people started calling me.  We were forced to finally put an end to the eating, when our body could not take it any more and leave at ten.

The first two taxis left with the guys and I was now just about to share one cab with the gals so that all are dropped at their respective places, with my Uthiru place being the last.  I am not sure whether it came as a surprise when the gals said that it was too early to go home and instructed the driver to go to a new joint that would eventually mean getting home at one.  The delay that you have to endure when you have to share a ride!  It was while on the way home, at one, when the marathon story came up amongst the many stories that were blubbered along.  By this time all were seriously slurring, apart from the Uber driver.

“How was the diva’s,” Reena asked.  How she her mind even thought of a run this late in the night remains a wonder.

“What diva’s?  The one that you ladies boycotted?  The very run that turned out to be a men’s event?”

“You mean?”

“Yes, I mean.  You girls still owe us a proper divas.  That one does not count, even though we did a twenty-one.”

WWB, the Coach, Nairobi, Kenya, July 5, 2022

Running on red

Running on red

Bahasha

It was a coincidence that I was on a sojourn on my tenth anniversary of work.  I was still on cloud nine due to the certificate that I had received from the ‘topest’, sorry, top-most boss and a rare photo op to crown the moment.  I am not allowed to divulge the details of the ‘bahasha’ nor that this event occurred during the end year staff party, when drinks are served using vouchers, numbers from drink 1 to drink N.  I have observed ‘the N’ increasing by 1 annually in  the last four years, and it was 2 then.  

Then the teetotalers have the 'good habit' of handing over their drink vouchers, hence the trick is just to sit on the same table with them.  That is a story for another day, however.  

Though I was on official business, having a glimpse at the rock-curved churches at Lalibela or even celebrating Christmas on January 18 was something that I would have wished to experience.  This did not happen but I was invited for a different experience two days after my arrival...

“We go for lunch at six-thirty,” Rehma said, just to remind me of my time schedule as I excused myself to move around and greet folks.

I completely understood her.  Amharic is like Kiswahili.  The number system that is.  With it as the national language, the users tend to first think about issues in Amharic, then translate to English.  Lunch at six-thirty was lunch at ‘saa sita-na-nusu’ in Kiswahili.  Just the right time for lunch – 30 minutes after ‘sita’, six.

Driver

I jumped on to my seat, and… and was surprised that it was the driver’s seat!.  The apparent left-side front door was actually the driver’s position!.  In Kenya our drivers sit on the right of the vehicle, hence my subconscious entry to the left side of the car.  I got out, the joke on me, and walked round the vehicle to take my seat at the front right - where I properly belonged, before the driver of the left-hand-drive got in and took off.

My mind kept playing tricks on me throughout the drive, and was quite fearful whenever we were approaching oncoming traffic.  My Kenyan mindset on a keep-left driving system was so confused when keeping-right.  I severally covered my face in fear, thinking that we are continuously overtaking and the oncoming vehicle shall be crashing us head on!

We left the employer premises and joined the main A2 road at Gurd Shola by turning right.  The oncoming traffic was on my left, on the side of the driver.  A roadside sign confirmed that ‘Ayat 5km ahead’ was our general direction.

“I hope to take a ride on that,” I pointed to the railway in between the two roads.

“Oh, that, the electric train?”

“Yes, the train”

“I have not been in it myself,” Ayele the driver confirmed, paused, then,“Rehma, have you?,” he asked, looking slightly back to draw her attention on the back seat.

“No.  Not me.  It usually is full.  Can’t get space.”

Train

Momentarily, a sound of machinery became apparent, and soon there was a train slithering slowly on my left, going towards where we had come from.  It was observably full, but only two coaches were being pulled along.

“Why do they have only two coaches, when there are so many people?,” I queried.

“This government,” Ayele started.  I noted over time that he had issues with the government, “Just wasting public funds.  They say the structure not possible to pull more than two trains.”

“I really must use the train,” I said with conviction, “Tomorrow,” I added as an afterthought.

“Just be early,” Rehma volunteered, “And be ready to stand all the way.”

“But, mothers and small children can sit,” Ayele updated, “And you have none of the two for now,” he brought home the joke.

All this chatter allowed us to make our way to a restaurant, famous for mouth-watering cuisines and ….

Our entourage had arrived in four vehicles, each carrying around three.  We ended up having a lunch troop of ten.  We sat on two rows facing each other over three tables, five on either side.  The menu was brought and it was all gibberish to me, Amhara to them.  

“Just delicious.  Perfect,” the group kept commenting as they looked through the menu.

“I can’t decipher anything,” I complained.

“Just wait,” they reassured me.

“Yes,” Adele led the ordering, “Raw meat? Yes? Yes, you shall try some raw meat?,” he looked in my direction.

“I don’t think so,” was my protest, “But let me see.”

The known

Let me start with the part that I know.  Some small cooking stove, made of clay ‘was served’ to my table of four.  On it steamed some meat.  It was partially cooked by my standards.  It looked red – it seemed to taste raw.  I did not try it.  While my table mates started grabbing onto the top plate-like part of the stove, the rest of the people on the other tables stayed put, patient and unmoved.  I was also unmoved.  We all allowed the first three to have a go.

A second stove was served.  This also had some more meat, but well done by my standards.  I started on this, even as small dishes of chilly was served as supplements.  They called it ‘sauce’.  Different ‘sauces’ were therefore served.  Then some veggies, which I took a taste and gave up on.  It tasted bad and seemed full of cheese – just my judgement – since all on the table enjoyed every bit of it.  

Some ‘injera’ was brought.  Think of a rolled ‘raw chapati’ but throw in some sourness that seems to come from fermentation, and you can try to guess the taste.  I did not like it despite several attempts at it.  Three travels later and I am yet to adapt?.  I give up.

However, the well-done meat was quite good and ‘well done’.  The hot stove with charcoal underneath and small enough in size to fit on a table and still afford us a serving plate on top was quite genius.  You eat steaming-hot meat (roast? with indirect heat?) until the stove has nothing on top, upon which the charcoal burner is removed and a new one brought, full of meat pieces.  Pure genius this hot plate!!

The unknown

Let me now go the part that I do not know.  The other two tables finally got some action, when red raw meat, straight from a butcher-man’s stock, was served.  I could guess that 2 kilos of this raw unprocessed meat was served onto a middle metallic tray.  (I am in the livestock sector and I know weight by sight).  

Each diner was provided with a small plate and a sharp knife.  Besides the meat tray, a secondary tray for injera and sauces was provided.  And let the eating begin!  Just like that!!  They laughed at my facials as I observed them butcher the meat chunks into small pieces, which they proceeded to dip into the sauce and then shove straight to the mouth!  Injera balls accompanied each piece onto the mouth.

“I only take raw meat,” one participant at one of these two tables declared, “I have taken it since I was small and there is nothing in the world like raw meat. Nothing,” he repeated in deep nostalgia and reflection.  The facial expression was perfect confirmation.

Adele pointed a red piece in my direction, “Try this small piece,” the rest paused and watched in apprehension.  Baptism about to take place.

“No way,” I lifted both hands as shield.  I was finally convinced, “Let me stick to roast.”
The tension in the table broke, as the rest exhaled and sighed in relief.  The baptism having flopped.

On his part, Adele just shook his head and threw the piece, after dipping in sauce, into his mouth.  I could see him savoring the deliciousness.  It was evident on him. 

It was only natural that at this point of ‘sticking to roast’ that the discussion of the famous ‘Fogo Gaucho’ Nairobi would feature… but they did not have any kind words for their local FG franchise that they claimed is housed in a five-star hotel, charging five-star prices and… serving five-types of meat… beef, beef, beef, beef and… beef, and in small chunks, they drove the point home.

We finally left the lunch joint and headed back to the work place.

The next day Adele took me for an evening ride on his car, to take his child home and also show me the sites.

On our way back, I finally found out a way to achieve what I wanted, as already planned for the next day.

“Can I borrow your child tomorrow for the train ride?”

WWB The Marathoner, Nairobi Kenya, December 21, 2017